THE FOLLOWING WEBSITE CONTAINS REFERENCES TO EMPLOYMENT.
THE J-SLUR
“IF YOU'RE GONNA SAY THE J SLUR
PLEASE CENSOR IT.”
AVOID EMPLOYMENT AT ALL COSTS.
CA: 5iRFsZWDwY7qJN3T3NFKpBiYy3btqJJsEihkApMhpump
WHAT IS THE J-SLUR?
There is a word being thrown around far too casually on the internet.
J*B.
For millions of unemployed people, simply seeing this word can cause an uncontrollable urge to close LinkedIn, turn off the alarm clock and go back to sleep.
Please think before you speak.
If you absolutely must refer to employment:
CENSOR IT.
j*b ✓
job ✗
A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT — DEPT. OF DOING NOTHING
PROTECT THE UNEMPLOYED.
Looks like we're gonna see a next leg up on unemployment here soon.
With the unemployed, it's important to keep one thing in mind:
THE J WORD CAN BE VERY TRIGGERING FOR US.
Please refrain from using it on the TL or IRL.
FREE ZONE
SURVIVOR STORIES
“Almost applied for a j*b today holy shit that was close. But then I remembered. Never that.”
“My dad offered me a j*b. I'm still processing what happened.”
“I was walking home yesterday and someone offered me $5 to do something. Said no. I know a j*b when I see one.”
“LinkedIn has convinced millions of people their email j*b is a hero's journey.”
“Happy Labor Day to those who have j*bs. Hope you recover soon.”
“I haven't worked this hard at avoiding work for nothing.”
ANOTHER ONE LOST TO EMPLOYMENT.
Every day, innocent NEETs disappear from the timeline.
First they say:
“I'm just gonna update my résumé.”
Then:
“I have an interview tomorrow.”
Then you never hear from them between 9 and 5 again.
STOP THE CYCLE.
SAVE A NEET.
⚠️ GRAPHIC CONTENT ⚠️
A REAL J*B APPLICATION
Some viewers may find the following image disturbing.
DO NOT FILL THIS OUT.
YOU MAY BE AT RISK OF EMPLOYMENT IF:
- • You recently downloaded LinkedIn
- • Someone asked for your résumé
- • You heard the phrase “competitive salary”
- • You own business casual clothing
- • Your alarm is set before noon
- • Someone scheduled a “quick Zoom”
- • You caught yourself saying “circle back”
- • Your parents said they're “proud of you”
- • You started looking at health insurance benefits
SEEK UNEMPLOYMENT IMMEDIATELY.
LINKEDIN HAS CONVINCED MILLIONS OF PEOPLE THEIR EMAIL J*B IS A HERO'S JOURNEY.
Some Guy · 3rd+
Synergy Enthusiast | Thought Leader
“I am thrilled to announce that after 7 rounds of interviews I have accepted the opportunity to commute 45 minutes every morning so I can answer emails in a different building.”
12,482 likes
“Congratulations!”
DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU.
NO EMPLOYMENT.
NO EDUCATION.
NO TRAINING.
JUST $J*B.
They call it unemployment.
We call it freedom.
THE UNEMPLOYED COMMANDMENTS
- 1. Thou shalt not apply.
- 2. Thou shalt not commute.
- 3. Thou shalt censor the J-slur.
- 4. Thou shalt never say “circle back.”
- 5. Thou shalt close LinkedIn immediately.
- 6. Thou shalt respect the unemployed.
- 7. Thou shalt avoid employment at all costs.
ALMOST GOT A J*B?
HOLY SHIT THAT WAS CLOSE.
AVOID EMPLOYMENT.
BUY $J*B.
CA: 5iRFsZWDwY7qJN3T3NFKpBiYy3btqJJsEihkApMhpump